Time to Move?

It’s never easy to answer the question, “is it time for mom or dad to move?”

You've come to the crossroad that many families face, is it time for my family member to move out of home into some type of supportive living arrangement? It's really natural to feel upset and conflicted about this dilemma.

You have probably made many sacrifices to keep your family member with you or in her own home. It's not easy to undo such a big commitment. It can make you feel like a failure even though without your support, your family member couldn’t have carried on at home as long as she has

Sometimes a health crisis brings you to a natural decision making place. Other times, there are changes to your family member’s needs that are hard to face. Families often decide that an elder will move when the person needs 24 hour care, becomes incontinent or wanders away from home. In other cases, the caregiver's health or personal situation changes forcing a change in living arrangements.

What I most often see in my practice is that people wait way too long before they make a change and then it is often done in haste because the caregiver is stressed out or ill.

Take the time now to talk as a family about what you will do when your family member can no longer live at home. Set some criteria about how you will know it’s time to act. Ask your family member about her preferences for living arrangements and make sure to understand your budget.